Question 1

My teenager is self-harming. What should I do first?

Accepted Answer

If your teen is in immediate danger, call or text 988. If they’re not in immediate danger but you’ve discovered self-harm, stay as calm as you can — reacting with anger or panic tends to push teens further away. Seek professional help as soon as possible, ideally from a clinician trained in DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy), which is the evidence-based gold standard for treating self-harm in adolescents. NEABPD’s Family Connections program is free and designed specifically for parents in this situation.

Question 2

How do I know if my teen’s behavior is a mental health crisis?

Accepted Answer

Trust your instincts — if you’re asking this question, that already matters. Warning signs include significant changes from your teen’s baseline behavior, increasing social withdrawal, self-harm, talk of suicide or hopelessness, refusing school, extreme or explosive emotional episodes, or behaviors that feel dangerous. If multiple warning signs are present and escalating, seek a professional evaluation now rather than waiting.

Question 3

My teen won’t go to school. Is this a mental health issue?

Accepted Answer

School refusal — sometimes called emotionally-based school avoidance — is often a symptom of underlying anxiety, depression, social difficulties, or trauma, not defiance. It’s treatable, and early intervention makes a significant difference. A mental health evaluation can help identify what’s driving the avoidance and what interventions will help. Don’t wait for it to resolve on its own.

Question 4

What is DBT and could it help my teen?

Accepted Answer

DBT (Dialectical Behavior Therapy) is an evidence-based treatment originally developed for adults with severe emotional dysregulation, and adapted for adolescents as DBT-A. It teaches skills in four areas: distress tolerance, emotion regulation, mindfulness, and interpersonal effectiveness. DBT is considered the gold standard for teens struggling with self-harm, suicidality, intense emotional dysregulation, eating disorders, and related issues. A comprehensive DBT program for teens includes individual therapy, a multi-family skills group, crisis support, and active parent involvement.

Question 5

My teenager has extreme rage episodes and violent outbursts. What’s going on?

Accepted Answer

Explosive anger and emotional dysregulation can be symptoms of many things: anxiety, depression, ADHD, trauma, or conditions like DMDD (Disruptive Mood Dysregulation Disorder). The pattern matters more than any single incident — how often it happens, what triggers it, how long episodes last, and how quickly your teen recovers. DBT is one of the most effective treatments for intense emotional dysregulation regardless of the underlying diagnosis, and it includes skills both teens and parents can use.

Question 6

My teen seems withdrawn and won’t talk to me. What does that mean?

Accepted Answer

Some withdrawal is developmentally normal in adolescence. But pronounced, escalating withdrawal — especially if your teen has stopped activities they used to love, is sleeping significantly more or less, or has lost all interest in connection — can indicate depression, anxiety, trauma, or substance use. If the withdrawal feels different or more severe than typical teenage privacy, a mental health evaluation is worthwhile.

Question 7

My teenager may be using drugs or alcohol. What should I do?

Accepted Answer

Teen substance use ranges from experimentation to serious dependency, and the right response depends on where your teen falls. Start by having an honest, non-punitive conversation — curiosity and concern rather than ultimatums. Then seek a professional assessment: your teen’s pediatrician can help, or SAMHSA’s FindTreatment.gov has a confidential treatment locator. Many teens use substances to manage emotional pain, so addressing underlying mental health issues is often an essential part of the solution.

Question 8

My teen might have an eating disorder. How should I respond?

Accepted Answer

If you suspect an eating disorder, act quickly — early intervention dramatically improves outcomes. Avoid commenting on food, weight, or appearance. Consult your teen’s pediatrician for a medical evaluation first, then ask for a referral to an eating disorder specialist. Family-Based Treatment (FBT, also called the Maudsley approach) is the gold standard for adolescent eating disorders. NEDA’s parent toolkit and helpline are also excellent starting points.

Question 9

How do I support myself while going through this?

Accepted Answer

You cannot pour from an empty cup — and trying to do this alone is one of the most common mistakes parents make. Look for parent-only support groups (NEABPD’s Family Connections is free and research-backed), consider individual therapy with a DBT-informed or trauma-aware therapist, and find at least one person in your life who can hold space for what you’re going through without judgment. You deserve support too.

Resources for Parents of Teens in Crisis

Warning Signs

Self-Harm

Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors

Emotional Dysregulation and Outbursts

Withdrawal and School Refusal

Substance Use

Eating and Body

Other Warning Signs

Treatment Options for Teens

Finding the Right Level of Care

Standard Therapy (Talk Therapy / CBT)

Specialized Evidence-Based Treatments

Higher Levels of Care

Psychiatric Care