Resources for Parents of Teens in Crisis

You’re here because your teen is struggling and you don’t know what to do. This isn’t typical teenage angst. You’re dealing with something bigger, scarier, and you don’t feel equipped for it.

Whether you’re in the middle of it, recently come through it, or just sensing something is off, this page is for you.

Last reviewed: May 2026

What Should I Do Right Now?

Choose the right action first

Is anyone in immediate physical danger?

• Yes → Call 911. A dispatcher will guide you.
• No, but I’m scared and don’t know what to do → Call or text 988.
• No, and I can get them to an ER safely → Drive to a local ER.
• They’re not in danger right now, but I don’t want to leave them → Stay close. Sit nearby if they want company. Sit in the next room if they want space. You don’t need the right words. Just don’t leave them alone.

When in doubt, call 911. A dispatcher can tell you what’s next.

General guidelines

1. Take a breath before you act or respond. Your calm helps them stay calm.
2. Ask directly. “Are you thinking about hurting yourself?” or “Are you thinking about suicide?” Asking does not put the idea in their head; not asking doesn’t keep them safer.
3. Listen without trying to fix. It’s hard to hear them say they want to hurt themselves or die. But they need to know they can tell you. Don’t argue, don’t bargain, don’t let your emotions hijack you. Let them talk.
4. Make it harder to act on impulse. Lock up medications, alcohol, knives, and razors. If there are firearms in the house, get them out for now.
5. Offer to get them professional help. Their pediatrician can refer, or you can search the DBT-LBC directory.
6. Take care of yourself. Sleep when you can. Eat. Step outside. Find a friend, a therapist, a coach, and/or a community of parents who get it. Put on your own oxygen mask first.

Guidance here draws on 988 Lifeline, BPD Alliance, AFSP, and DBT-LBC.

How Do I Know When Something Is Wrong?

Sometimes it’s obvious. Your teen is self-harming, talking about not wanting to be alive, or in emotional overwhelm that goes on for hours. More often, what you’re noticing is subtler: withdrawal, school refusal, moods that spike and crash, eating that’s changed, signs of substance use. Teenagers pull away from parents, test limits, and go through genuinely hard periods. That’s part of what makes it difficult to know whether what you’re seeing is typical or something more. One or two things on their own may mean nothing. Watch for several things appearing together, anything that feels severe, or a pattern that keeps getting worse. It becomes a warning sign when behaviors start interfering with functioning: school, sleep, basic self-care, relationships. Trust your gut. And if your teen tells you something is wrong, believe them.

The categories below draw on guidance from BPD Alliance, Cornell's Self-Injury and Recovery Resources, AFSP, and NEDA.

How Do I Know If My Teen Is Self-Harming?

It’s the hoodie in August. The “I’m fine, just cold.” The bathroom door that’s been locked longer than usual. Razors that go missing, or new ones showing up in the Amazon cart. Wounds that get explained as the cat, the door, gym class, and then explained again, differently, the next time you ask. Long sleeves at the pool. Avoiding hugs.

Sometimes you find it by accident. Sometimes they tell you. Sometimes you’ve been seeing it for months and not letting yourself see it.

What Are the Signs of Teen Suicidal Thoughts and Behaviors?

It’s not always the loud version. Sometimes a teen who’s been drowning for months suddenly seems lighter, not happy, settled. They give away the necklace they used to fight their sister over. They tell you they love you in a way that feels like a goodbye. A long depression that lifts without a reason is not always recovery; sometimes it’s a decision being made.

The louder version is what you’d expect: “I wish I wasn’t here.” “What’s the point.” “Everyone would be better off without me.” Don’t wait for the textbook phrasing. If you’ve heard a version of this even once, ask directly. Asking doesn’t plant the idea. Not asking doesn’t keep them safer.

What Emotional Overwhelm Looks Like in Teens

The fight that should have lasted ten minutes is in hour three. Their face is blotched, their breathing won’t slow, doors have been slammed, and you’re in another room not knowing what to do next. The intensity isn’t the warning sign by itself, it’s the duration, the frequency, and how disproportionate the trigger is. A B+ should not feel like the end of the world. A “no” to a sleepover should not break someone for two days.

If you’re walking on eggshells in your own house, that’s data.

Why Is My Teen Withdrawing or Refusing School?

The bedroom door has been closed for six weeks. They’ve stopped mentioning the friends you used to hear about. They sleep through alarms, or through the entire day. They’re “sick” Monday. Then Monday again. Then Tuesday too. They used to do something — soccer, drama, drawing — and now you’re not sure when they last did it. The shower is suddenly optional. So is dinner.

This isn’t laziness or a phase. This is what depression and anxiety look like.

What Are the Warning Signs of Teen Substance Use?

Money keeps going missing, small enough each time that you almost don’t notice. So does the cologne, the mouthwash, the gum from your purse. There are new friends you’ve never met and a vagueness about where they were last weekend. Bloodshot eyes that get blamed on screens. A smell that takes you a beat to place, or one they’re working hard to cover. Mood that has nothing to do with what just happened.

Any one of these alone is normal teenage privacy. Two or three together is a pattern.

What Are the Warning Signs of a Teen Eating Disorder?

They started “eating cleaner” six months ago and the rules kept getting stricter. Or dinner looks normal, but the kitchen is missing food in the morning. Bathroom trips that always come right after meals. Workouts that aren’t optional anymore. Clothes that suddenly hang, or suddenly don’t fit. Conversations about weight that didn’t used to happen, or that won’t stop happening.

Trust the part of you that knows something has shifted. Pediatricians often miss this; parents almost always catch it first.

What Other Warning Signs Should Parents Watch For?

A teen who used to shower without thinking and now doesn’t. Who stops looking up when you walk into the room. Who can’t tell you, in the middle of something hard, where they actually are; they “zone out,” and then it’s gone. Friendships that go from everything to nothing in a month. Panic attacks they’re hiding from you, or that you’re seeing for the first time. A child who’s started lying about small things you wouldn’t have thought were worth lying about.

Each of these can be nothing. Together, they’re worth taking seriously.

How Do I Find the Right Treatment for My Teen?

There’s no single right treatment, but there are evidence-based options matched to what you’re seeing. Standard therapy or CBT helps with milder issues like anxiety, low mood, or building coping skills. For severe emotional dysregulation, self-harm, or suicidality, the gold standard is Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT). For adolescent eating disorders, it’s Family-Based Treatment (FBT, also called Maudsley). When weekly outpatient isn’t enough, intensive outpatient (IOP), partial hospitalization (PHP), or residential care step up the level of support. Medication can help alongside therapy: depression, anxiety, sleep, attention. You don’t need a perfect diagnosis to start. Match the treatment to what you’re actually seeing, and don’t wait for things to get worse before you escalate.

What Is Standard Therapy or CBT for Teens?

Works well for milder issues. Helps build coping skills and process emotions. May not be enough for severe emotional dysregulation.

What Are Specialized Evidence-Based Treatments?

• Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT): Read this if you’re seeing self-harm, suicidality, or emotional intensity that doesn’t shut off. The gold standard (per BPD Alliance and DBT-LBC) for managing intense emotions and reducing self-harm and suicidal behaviors in teens. DBT-A (the adolescent version) includes individual therapy, a multi-family skills group, crisis support, and active parent involvement. This is what changed our family’s life.
• Acceptance & Commitment Therapy (ACT): Read this if your teen is open to therapy and the core struggle is anxiety or feeling stuck. Helps teens align with their values while accepting difficult emotions.
• Mentalization-Based Therapy (MBT): Read this if relationships and identity are where things keep breaking down. Strengthens emotional awareness and relationship skills.
• Good Psychiatric Management (GPM): Read this if you can’t access DBT and need a structured alternative. A practical approach focusing on daily life and relationships.
• Family-Based Treatment (FBT / Maudsley): Read this if eating is the issue. The gold standard (per NEDA) for adolescent eating disorders, with the family as a key part of recovery.

What Are Higher Levels of Care?

Read this if weekly outpatient isn’t holding.

• Intensive Outpatient (IOP): 3–4 sessions per week (9–12 hours total), scheduled around school while living at home.
• Partial Hospitalization (PHP): Full-day program (30–40 hours/week) with evening returns home, temporarily replacing school.
• Residential / Inpatient: 24/7 care for safety and stabilization.

Different teens need different levels of support. Some thrive with outpatient therapy at home; others benefit from residential treatment. The right choice depends on your teen’s needs, your family’s situation, and available resources. There’s no universal “best” option.

When Does My Teen Need Psychiatric Care?

Medication can be an important tool, especially when combined with therapy. A psychiatrist can evaluate whether medications might help with depression, anxiety, mood stability, sleep, attention, or other symptoms affecting daily function. Finding the right medication often takes time and patience. Regular monitoring ensures medications are working safely.

Where Can Parents Find Support?

Parenting a teen through this takes a toll most people around you won’t understand. You’re managing your own fear and grief while trying to stay present for your teen, often with little sleep and no one to talk to who gets it. Many parents develop trauma symptoms themselves: hypervigilance, difficulty sleeping, emotional numbness. That’s not weakness. It’s what happens when you’re living in prolonged fear for your child. It tends to get worse in isolation. The resources here are for you. BPD Alliance’s Family Connections is free, 12 weeks, and built for exactly this situation. NAMI offers free peer support groups and education programs nationwide. Individual therapy, especially with someone trained in DBT or trauma, can make a real difference. Supporting yourself is not selfish. It’s what makes it possible to keep going.

BPD Alliance

Don’t let the diagnosis in the name stop you. BPD Alliance is a nonprofit that provides free resources for families dealing with severe and chronic emotion dysregulation, including self-harm, suicidality, and intense relational conflict.

• Free Videos, Webinars & Articles: On topics like emotional dysregulation, self-harm, suicidality, and family coping.
• Family Connections Course: A free, 12-week program developed with McLean Hospital. Teaches parents how to cope, reduce conflict, and feel less alone. There’s typically a 4–6 month wait, so register right away.
• MSTR (Managing Suicidality and Trauma Responses): A free 8-week program for families whose teens have attempted suicide or engaged in high-risk behaviors. Provides skills for parents to manage their own trauma and respond effectively.

→ bpdalliance.org

NAMI (National Alliance on Mental Illness)

A nationwide nonprofit offering free education, peer support, and navigation help for families.

• NAMI HelpLine: Call 800-950-6264, text “NAMI” to 62640, or email (Mon–Fri, 10am–10pm ET)
• Family-to-Family: Free, 8-session evidence-based class for families
• Basics OnDemand: Free online course for parents/caregivers of youth 22 and under
• Family Support Group: Free, peer-led. Many groups meet virtually.
• Find Your Local NAMI: Enter your ZIP at nami.org

Other Parent Supports

• Therapy for yourself: Look for therapists trained in DBT, ACT, or trauma-informed care, especially if you’re experiencing secondary trauma. Find DBT clinicians at dbt-lbc.org.
• Peer Resources Library: Curated books, articles, videos, and guides from people who’ve been there → emotionsmatterbpd.org/peer-resources
• Cornell Self-Injury & Recovery Resources: Research-based guidance for parents and educators → selfinjury.bctr.cornell.edu

What Resources Can I Share With My Teen?

These resources are safe to share with your teen directly. Sometimes a teen will engage with them before they’re ready to accept more formal help. That’s a real way in. For skills and coping tools, DBT-RU on YouTube offers clear, teen-friendly videos explaining the same skills taught in formal DBT programs. Now Matters Now has free video-based tools for managing suicidal thoughts and intense emotions, grounded in DBT. For finding treatment, the DBT-LBC directory lists certified programs; SAMHSA’s FindTreatment.gov is a confidential locator for mental health and substance use care. Topic-specific resources cover eating disorders (NEDA), LGBTQ+ youth in crisis (The Trevor Project), sexual violence (RAINN), and teens whose home isn’t safe (National Runaway Safeline). You can share any of these links directly, or leave this page open. Sometimes that’s enough.

Skills & Learning

• Rutgers DBT-RU (YouTube): Clear, teen-friendly videos explaining DBT skills → youtube.com/@DBTRU
• Now Matters Now: Free videos and personal recovery tools for suicidal thoughts and intense emotions, rooted in DBT → nowmattersnow.org

Finding Treatment

• DBT-A Programs: Structured treatment that adapts proven DBT skills for teens and families. Look for a comprehensive DBT program that includes individual therapy, multi-family skills groups, crisis support, and parent involvement → dbt-lbc.org
• FindTreatment.gov (SAMHSA): Confidential search for mental health or substance-use treatment → findtreatment.gov

Topic-Specific Help

• The Trevor Project (LGBTQ+ youth): 24/7 text, chat, and phone support → thetrevorproject.org
• RAINN Youth HelpRoom (ages 14–24): Moderated online support for survivors of sexual violence → rainn.org
• National Runaway Safeline: If home isn’t safe or your teen is thinking about running → Call 1-800-RUNAWAY or chat at 1800runaway.org
• NEDA (Eating Disorders): Info, screening, and parent toolkit → nationaleatingdisorders.org
• JED Foundation: Teen-friendly guides and resources for families → jedfoundation.org
• Pongo Poetry Project: Healing through writing, youth voices and prompts → pongopoetryproject.org